Shedding Some Light

Natural disasters such as the recent Gulf Coast hurricanes cause terrible damage and create much stress on communities and families affected by them. Yet even in such difficult circumstances, God’s people sometimes find rays of humor—such as the following anonymous (and popular) Internet/e-mail collection—in their day-to-day efforts to cope. Our sense of humor: It’s another blessing for which we can be thankful. —Ed.

Things Hurricane Ike Taught Us

A new opening phrase when seeing someone: “Got lights yet?”

Coffee is possible without Starbucks.

Frozen pizzas can be made on a barbecue grill, and Hot Pockets taste pretty good deep-fried on an outdoor cooker.

Peanut butter and jelly is a perfectly acceptable meal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner in the same day.

There are a lot more stars in the sky than most people think.

There are a lot of dang trees around here.

Tree-service companies are underappreciated.

Cell phones work when land lines are down, but only as long as the battery remains charged.

The neighbor who knows how to use a chainsaw is your new best friend.

If you fill the bathtub with water, as advised, the city water system will not fail or be turned off.

Floodplain drawings on some mortgage documents are seriously wrong.

People will get into a line that has already formed without having any idea what the line is for.

Our car gets 23.21675 miles per gallon, exactly. You can ask the people in line who helped us push it.

We can walk a lot farther than we thought.

TV is an addiction and the withdrawal symptoms are painful.

A 7-pound bag of ice will chill 6, 12-ounce Budweisers to a drinkable temperature in 11 minutes, and still keep a 14-pound turkey frozen for eight hours.

Math 101: 30 days in month minus 12 days without power equals a 30 percent higher electric bill?

Drywall is a compound word; take away the “dry” part and it’s worthless.

Ice is a form of currency.

Two-year-old canned beets taste better than you think.

A skateboard and a sheet make a great “sailboat” before the rain starts.

Five gallons of sweetened iced tea a day is not enough for nine teenagers.

Neighbors are much more sociable when they are sharing a generator.

Seven dogs that do not normally live together will not get along during a hurricane. They have no comprehension of sharing.

A new method of non-lethal torture—showers without hot water.

What appears acceptable by candlelight in your bathroom will scare you when you look at yourself in the mirror at the office.

Hair can dry without a blow-dryer, but it may not look the way you planned.

The storm treasures your kids are finding really belong to your neighbors.

It’s easy to ignore a dirty floor when you can’t see it.

You can’t train yourself not to flip on light switches when entering a room.

Baseball caps go with any post-hurricane ensemble.

Coming home from work with a pizza and a charged-up laptop so the kids can watch a DVD makes you a hero.

Never make fun of another state’s blackouts.

You have neighbors.

Submitted via e-mail
Courtesy of Dan and Anna Braden
Lamb of God Lutheran Church
Humble, Texas
(And their Houston friends and neighbors)