by Tim Pauls
Dear parents with wiggly children,
Oh, yes: I see you and your kids. I’m way up there in the pulpit and you’re often way in the back, but I see you. I hear y’all, too. The dropped hymnals, the coos, the squeals and the cries — all those little distractions that rise above the sounds of worship.
You know who you are. The rest of us do, too. And since I see you and I hear you, I just wanted to say something:
Thank you.
Thanks for your ongoing efforts to include your children in worship. You could get more out of it for yourself if we had a nursery and you could park them there. You wouldn’t have that feeling that everybody’s looking at you when your kid does something out of order, and you wouldn’t be waiting for the possible meltdown when the communion service goes long. You wouldn’t have to beat that hasty retreat to the narthex because a little one has gotten a bit too restless or whacked his head on the pew.
Yup. Your life on Sunday could be so much less noisy and complicated.
But you’re parents. You know that getting more out of things for yourself will be a luxury for the next several years. You know the value of your children getting used to worship at an early age, a habit that we pray they’ll continue for the rest of their lives. You know that those little sponge-minds are picking up a lot of stuff, memorizing creeds and prayers and songs. You also know that as the Word of God bounces around the room from readings and sermons and hymns, it’s going into the ears of the young to give grace and strengthen faith. And even when parenting duties mean you don’t get to listen to much, you still receive Christ’s body and blood — and so you know you’re forgiven.
So you keep girding your loins, setting your face and bringing your kids to church.
Bless you. We’re pulling for you and praying for you. If sometimes we get a little cranky and forget that we had kids once and were kids once, we might forget for a moment what it means to be part of the family of God. But we remember Jesus’ words, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 19:14).
As for me, I’m looking forward to teaching your kids in confirmation class. It’s ten years away, give or take. That’s not very long at all.
So thank you. God grant you every good gift needed in your holy calling of parenting.
Peace to you in Christ,
Pastor Pauls
The Rev. Timothy Pauls serves as pastor at Good Shepherd Lutheran Church in Boise, Idaho, and is a collegium fellow for DOXOLOGY: The Lutheran Center for Spiritual Care and Counsel.
Thank you Rev Pauls for the encouragement. It hasn’t been easy to disciple our children in the pew, but it helps to have been also developing their hunger & thirst for God’s gifts in D.S. I feel for the parents who have kids who suffer from ADHD or autism spectrum disorders & such. Perhaps we could do more to support these families too, but taking them out of D.S. to childcare is NOT the answer. Developing in them the thinking that it is in Divine Service they meet Jesus through his Word & Sacraments is KEY! Drop-off programs of the past (I may be tar & feathered) like Sunday School, VBS, or even worse childcare or children’s church have failed us & are anti-biblical. We need to be supporting parents & encouraging them to catechize & disciple their children throughout the week in the home. We need to be sending the message that THEY, not the SS teacher or even Pastor are best equipped for this God-given calling AND supporting them in any such endeavors. Kudos, for the pat on the head for bringing our kids to church, but our whole church body needs to do better at lifting our PARENTS up & equipping them for everyday catechesis & discipling! Some video instruction & curriculum to this end from CPH would be a welcome thing!
I disagree 100% It is NOT a luxury to have a church that provides infant and toddler care during the service.
It is a sign of a lazy church when they don’t help struggling parents. We are here for everyone in the congregation. We need to lift up our parents of young children and let them know we support them. By not offering a support system such as childcare during the service, we are stating, WHO CARES, struggle through the service, we don’t care.
I have been there for six years. As a parent of an ADHD child, I struggled to keep her in the seat, keep her voice down, keep her occupied, and I didn’t absorb the service.
Keep in mind Faith without works is dead. James 2:14-26 Works from faith such as caring for another’s child so they can be present in a service, allows us to share our faith and support, in God’s eyes.
I wish all L.C.M.S. congrations had so many baby’s and and children making noise that the pastor needed a bullhorn !!!! ( Bring the little children unto me [it is written)
Thank you dearly for this very insightful post. I’m one of those mamas in the pew, and am solo as the pastor’s wife. My 3-year-old son is so strong willed, and a wildcard on Sunday, and I have another son on the way. I’m the only one in an aging congregation with little ones. This was a wonderful, encouraging reminder of why us parents can and must continue to bring our littles to church, even when it feels that it’s all for naught (which of course, is never the case 🙂 Recently, out of the blue, my son started verbally responding on and off throughout the liturgy – what a true blessing that was to see the beginnings of the fruit of God’s good and gracious work in him. In Christ, Solo Mama
God bless you. Keep up the Spirit guided work.
God bless you.
I agree 100%. My shorter version is as follows: I smile when I hear children in the sanctuary during worship service. I may even turn to let you see me smiling. I’m so happy to know that there are children in church.