Regarding February’s Family Counselor, “Playing Second Fiddle”: One might point out to the husband who feels like a second fiddle that life is a matter of the choices one makes. He may choose to feel like a second fiddle and put pressure on his wife, making her defensive, and at the same time inducing an air of animosity toward his mother-in-law. This creates a hostile environment in which his son is being raised. When his son is raised in this kind of atmosphere, he will develop the same hostility and may wind up a problem child.
There is a second option: the husband/father may choose to be thankful that he has two people raising his son and thank his mother-in-law for helping him and his wife raise their son, even though she is not obliged so to do.
Sanctioning and encouraging his mother-in-law establishes a different perspective in the home. The wife is at ease and the mother-in-law is appreciated. His son can now develop a congenial relationship with all family members. The husband may even extend himself to give the mother-in-law a few thankful hugs; then he won’t be afraid to prevail on her to care for his son while he takes his wife on a brief vacation. Yes, indeed, it is the choices we make. Love is so fulfilling. God is love. By God’s good grace, may this be helpful.
John S. Winters
Yonkers, N.Y.
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