Q and A

Rev. Dr. Jerald C. Joersz

I have a question about prayer. A friend of mine lost her only sibling to cancer in 2005. Shortly after that, her husband discovered that he had cancer. He died in 2009. And then her mother died. Now she just found out that her childrens father, whom she divorced but remained friends with, is sick. She told me she is not praying for him because everyone she prayed for has died. This took me so by surprise that I didnt know what to say. What would be a proper response?

I have a question about prayer. A friend of mine lost her only sibling to cancer in 2005. Shortly after that, her husband discovered that he had cancer. He died in 2009. And then her mother died. Now she just found out that her childrens father, whom she divorced but remained friends with, is sick. She told me she is not praying for him because everyone she prayed for has died. This took me so by surprise that I didnt know what to say. What would be a proper response?

Your friend seems to feel that herprayers have somehow contributed to the deaths of her loved ones, and so prayer seems fruitless, perhaps even harmful. But you have to wonder if this is the only, or perhaps even real, reason she has decided to stop praying. By asking her a question such as, Why do you feel that way? you may discover other issues that underlie the crippling of her prayer life (such as guilt, anger against God, doubt, feelings of utter helplessness, despair). How you might best respond to the pain she is obviously feeling will depend to a large extent on how she answers a question like this. But perhaps the following brief thoughts will be helpful in some way.

St. Paul writes, Pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you (1 Thess. 5:1718). Explaining the Second Commandment, Martin Luther says that we honor Gods name and give Him glory when we call upon it [His name] in every trouble, pray, praise, and give thanks. Thanking God in all circumstances and praying in every trouble is often the hardest part of being a Christian.

Many of us experience a string of tragic events in our lives. Even Gods people of old suffered a torrent of trouble. Consider Job. He lost everything in a short period of time: his property, his children and even his own health. Although he could not understand Gods ways, he remained steadfast: Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful (James 5:11).

Because we are sinful creatures, when bad things happen (e.g., the death of loved ones), we are constantly tempted to probe behind the beyond. We seek to discern or uncover what God intends and is doing behind the scenes of specific events of our lifeeven when the Scriptures tell us that what God thinks, decides
and does remains unsearchable and untraceable (Rom. 11:3335; Is. 55:89). We interpret Gods hiddenness to mean that He doesnt care. In a downward spiral, the
devil pushes us into doubt, undermines our confidence in Gods mercy in the midst of suffering and chokes off our prayer life (James 1:68).

Gods ways may be hidden to us, but His infinite love and mercy toward us in all circumstances is not hidden. Nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord (Rom. 8:3539), not even death! Gods throne, before which we continually draw near in prayer, is a throne of grace that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need (Heb. 4:16). Thus, we can pray unceasingly, call upon Him in the day of trouble and give Him thanks, confident that He will deliver us (Ps. 50:15).

About the Author: The Rev. Dr. Jerald C. Joersz was formerly an associate executive director of the LCMS Commission on Theology and Church Relations.

October 2011

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