There’s Medicine for That My sister is a kindergarten teacher in Kentucky. She sent me this text: “Best child quote of the day. After running around during recess, my student puts his hand on his belly and says, ‘I feel obnoxious!’” Kathryn GrittsSt. Louis, Mo.   Now Trending on TwitterWhen our four-year-old son, who is

Only You Can Prevent Church Fires        A few years ago in December, I visited my friend’s church. The service was beautiful, but when it came time for the sermon, the pastor spoke a long time and my attention waned. Suddenly, I heard him call out, “There’s a fire going on in here!” Thinking that

A teacher by any other name . . .  My brother Jerry and I were both Lutheran school principals. When I retired, I often substitute-taught at his school. I was teaching in a second-grade class when a little girl said, “That’s weird.” “What’s weird?” I asked. “It’s you and your brother,” she replied. “Well, it’s

This Ad’s All WetMy wife, Louise, and I were sitting in our living room. She was watching TV, and I was paying little attention to anything when she suddenly said, “Would you like a water mattress?” I asked, “Why would you ask such a silly question as that?” She replied, “Well, that furniture company just

404 ErrorAfter the Divine Service ended on New Year’s Day, I greeted the four-year-old great-granddaughter of a member of my congregation. “I have a purse,” she told me. I responded, “That’s wonderful. All I have is a wallet and a couple of pockets.” She then observed, “Yeah, but you’re wearing a dress!” Rev. Philip HouserPapillion,

Beware of DadI was greeting students at the door this morning, and one mom said she was upset about her child’s homework. Her daughter had a report on Mexico due, and the two of them made some guacamole to share with her class. The child woke up the next morning to discover Dad and his

Not Everyone Gets to Be an Astronaut Several years ago, when my daughter, Emma, was just barely four years old, our pastor gave a sermon about being a sheep and following the shepherd or being a goat. After he had finished, I turned to my daughter and asked her if she was going to be

Yes, It Is Finished In the Christian Church, we dont make amends; because Christ did it for us, we gladly make amens. Rev. Greg EilersPort Hope, Mich. Mirror, Mirror on the Wall Theres always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking

Words Save Lives This morning, the kids and I were talking about upcoming events, and we came to the topic of our pastor’s retirement. I said, “In a few weeks, it will be Pastor’s last day at church because he is retiring. Then we will get a new pastor.” My son Matthew asked, “Then what

As time goes by During a recent shut-in call to members residing in the Alzheimer wing, I struck up a conversation with the recreation director, who was entertaining a group of residents, reading stories and telling jokes. After sharing an Ole and Lena joke of my own, I told the director that I had recently

Splish Splash A six-year-old girl was baptized in our Sunday service, and our pastor seemed to use an especially adequate amount of water. As he patted her forehead and bangs dry with the cross-embroidered hanky, she proclaimed petulantly, “I already had my bath.” Lorna BeallLebanon, Mo.   Say What? Our five-year-old grandson has taken an

Random Thoughts for the Last Days of Summer A mousetrap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. Kathryn Gritts St. Louis, Mo. You know your commute to work has become too much when you sit at your desk